Catholic Guilt
Okay, I'll just say it: Catholic Guilt is my biggest problem. Though I gave up Catholicism at a very young age, the guilt is still with me. My husband often suggest therapy, but I actually studied counseling0, and so know there is no hope for the poor Catholics. I am keenly aware of when it crops up in my day-to-day life and interactions, and try to not be controlled by it, though that usually doesn't help much.
One place that just makes it all so painful and apparent is on public transportation. I have to say I think the way the tickets are randomly checked by civilian-clad checkers, who call for "Fahrscheine bitte!" in this voice that incites terror as soon as the subway doors have clanked shut is just plain crazy. I bet even non-Catholics feel a wave of terror and panic when they hear these words. For me, it is just horrible. I always feel like, "Oh shit! They caught me!" even though my properly purchased and stamped ticket is in my pocket. What's up with all the secret terror random check stuff? I much prefer the upfront Paris metro, which doesn't let you in until you've put your ticket through the machine and pass through the turnstyle or doors.
When we first moved here, I never bought tickets. I figured it seemed pretty pointless, especially since I never saw anyone checking....until one time I was on a train and the doors shut and that awful "FAHRSCHEINE BITTE!" was yelled out and I didn't have a ticket. Now this evokes a different kind of Catholic guilt altogether. This is guilt when you actually have something to be guilty about. It doesn't matter that we're just talking about a subway ticket here. They caught me!!!!! My heart was pounding. I started sweating. I thought about breaking a window. And phew! The doors opened and I jumped out before they could check me! I remember the distinct feeling of punk rock mama as I ran down the platform pushing my stroller. They weren't gonna catch me, those fucking bastards. Of course I immediately bought a ticket then and got on the next train to complete my journey. I have never been so bold as to go ticketless since.
And speaking of Catholics, Pope Benedict's VW is on display in a glass box at the Potsdamer Platz Arkaden (mall, for those of you Americans reading). It has big stickers all over it, saying "Pope Mobile" and things like that. This is what it looks like:
Somehow is it just too new to impress me. It was bought by an online casino firm for something like 244,000$. Nuts, eh?
One place that just makes it all so painful and apparent is on public transportation. I have to say I think the way the tickets are randomly checked by civilian-clad checkers, who call for "Fahrscheine bitte!" in this voice that incites terror as soon as the subway doors have clanked shut is just plain crazy. I bet even non-Catholics feel a wave of terror and panic when they hear these words. For me, it is just horrible. I always feel like, "Oh shit! They caught me!" even though my properly purchased and stamped ticket is in my pocket. What's up with all the secret terror random check stuff? I much prefer the upfront Paris metro, which doesn't let you in until you've put your ticket through the machine and pass through the turnstyle or doors.
When we first moved here, I never bought tickets. I figured it seemed pretty pointless, especially since I never saw anyone checking....until one time I was on a train and the doors shut and that awful "FAHRSCHEINE BITTE!" was yelled out and I didn't have a ticket. Now this evokes a different kind of Catholic guilt altogether. This is guilt when you actually have something to be guilty about. It doesn't matter that we're just talking about a subway ticket here. They caught me!!!!! My heart was pounding. I started sweating. I thought about breaking a window. And phew! The doors opened and I jumped out before they could check me! I remember the distinct feeling of punk rock mama as I ran down the platform pushing my stroller. They weren't gonna catch me, those fucking bastards. Of course I immediately bought a ticket then and got on the next train to complete my journey. I have never been so bold as to go ticketless since.
And speaking of Catholics, Pope Benedict's VW is on display in a glass box at the Potsdamer Platz Arkaden (mall, for those of you Americans reading). It has big stickers all over it, saying "Pope Mobile" and things like that. This is what it looks like:
Somehow is it just too new to impress me. It was bought by an online casino firm for something like 244,000$. Nuts, eh?
posted by mama jens at 10:15 AM
1 Comments:
Yesterday, there I was talking about feeling a sense of terror on public transportation because of the ticket checkers. Immediately after I finished my blog entry, I turned on CNN. A very different kind of terror was happening on another city's public transport. Jesus.
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