Coping Strategies for the Last Days
Today is our last day in our apartment. A week from today, we will be on the airplane heading toward our new home in Chapel Hill. Oly Sheet.
This has been an emotionally confusing time - the excitement highs and nostalgia lows, the bursts of confidence and waves of fear. Our apartment has been turned inside out and our taken-for-granted comforts have been slowly replaced by things like sleeping bags and paper plates (trust me, Mama Jens does not like camping). I have gone back and forth between feeling like I am doing a great job preparing the children emotionally for what is to come and at the same time feeling guilty for exposing them to a slow process of their world breaking down around them. The happy part here is that the moments of feeling totally crazy are usually balanced in the end by the Mama Jens intuition (very strong) that, despite the short term chaos and inconveniences, this is still the right decision. It is time to move on. People are resilient. Everything will be fine.
So, its nuts, its crazy, its paper plates, but we have to get through it...it is, in some ways, just a matter of time. In a couple of months we'll be settled on the other side of the pond (and hopefully not trying to figure out a way to get back to Berlin...eek!).
Coping strategies have included:
Eating. We went out last Friday to this amazing restaurant, tucked away on August str. between Große Hamburger and Rosenthaler called Al Contadino. For a decent price, you can have their five course menu...incredible. I highly recommend it...but make reservations, the place books out early.
Films. I have seen a couple in the last few weeks = good reality escape. Being Mainstream Mama when it comes to film, I saw Match Point and Walk The Line. I'd recommend both...but if you go to Match Point, take a friend along so that you have someone to talk to afterwards about how disturbed you feel and how you will NEVER cheat on your spouse.
Friends. I went to see a friend of mine sing, along with 175 other choir members, Bach's Mass in B Minor at the Marienkirche. This was amazing. After years of not going to church, I was amazed to find out that I still remember every line of the traditional Catholic liturgy. I guess if you say something 88 million times it is with you for good, Latin or no Latin. It was beautiful and peaceful.
Conducting Public Experiments. This is a fun one. This would be doing things like hiding one of your baby's shoes and counting how many strangers in a 15 minute period tell you that one of your baby's shoes is missing. Or driving your bike during the day with the light on, and counting those people, and so on. Counting cars and trams have a similar effect. When you're preoccupied with something like that, it is much more difficult to obsess over other things.
Watching the Olympics. This has been very entertaining, and the ice skating, very soothing. Of course my husband is always chattering in the background about how they should do an "all skate" and how for every event there should be just a normal guy that is included seriously in the competition (think Napolean Dynamite). After watching Sasha Cohen win the short program a couple of nights ago, I said, "When we get to the U.S. this is the girl that will be on the box of corn flakes." My husband replied, "Yeah unless she loses, then she'll be on the box of shit flakes." Now call me nuts, but this made me laugh my dang face off for about 30 minutes, and let me tell you, laughter is GOOD, even if it is a little hystericalish.
Packing. We have been doing a lot of this lately, but it is oddly soothing. Going through each and every item in your house and deciding whether or not it is worthy of going further with you in life takes time and emotional energy. The really important stuff gets the UPS treatment. This would be things like paintings, camera equipments, etc. And then there are the really, really important things that will stay even closer by being in our luggage...important documents, quilts my mom made, vases with my childrens' hand and foot prints... The other soothing thing about packing has been the mountains of bubble wrap. Whenever you hit a weak spot or a confused point about what to pack next, you can just pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. Nice.
And here is my cute child story of the week...a couple of days ago, the five year old ran into the living room and said, "Mama Mama !!! We figured it out!!!" I said, "Figured what out??!!" She continued, "We figured out how to think about nothing! You just close your eyes and says mmmm..." Awesome! This is the same child who a couple of months back, when we asked HER to tell US a story, said, "Once upon a time, there was nothing. No people. No houses. No trees. No animals. No lights. No air. Nothing."
Have a lovely weekend. Love, Mama Jens
This has been an emotionally confusing time - the excitement highs and nostalgia lows, the bursts of confidence and waves of fear. Our apartment has been turned inside out and our taken-for-granted comforts have been slowly replaced by things like sleeping bags and paper plates (trust me, Mama Jens does not like camping). I have gone back and forth between feeling like I am doing a great job preparing the children emotionally for what is to come and at the same time feeling guilty for exposing them to a slow process of their world breaking down around them. The happy part here is that the moments of feeling totally crazy are usually balanced in the end by the Mama Jens intuition (very strong) that, despite the short term chaos and inconveniences, this is still the right decision. It is time to move on. People are resilient. Everything will be fine.
So, its nuts, its crazy, its paper plates, but we have to get through it...it is, in some ways, just a matter of time. In a couple of months we'll be settled on the other side of the pond (and hopefully not trying to figure out a way to get back to Berlin...eek!).
Coping strategies have included:
Eating. We went out last Friday to this amazing restaurant, tucked away on August str. between Große Hamburger and Rosenthaler called Al Contadino. For a decent price, you can have their five course menu...incredible. I highly recommend it...but make reservations, the place books out early.
Films. I have seen a couple in the last few weeks = good reality escape. Being Mainstream Mama when it comes to film, I saw Match Point and Walk The Line. I'd recommend both...but if you go to Match Point, take a friend along so that you have someone to talk to afterwards about how disturbed you feel and how you will NEVER cheat on your spouse.
Friends. I went to see a friend of mine sing, along with 175 other choir members, Bach's Mass in B Minor at the Marienkirche. This was amazing. After years of not going to church, I was amazed to find out that I still remember every line of the traditional Catholic liturgy. I guess if you say something 88 million times it is with you for good, Latin or no Latin. It was beautiful and peaceful.
Conducting Public Experiments. This is a fun one. This would be doing things like hiding one of your baby's shoes and counting how many strangers in a 15 minute period tell you that one of your baby's shoes is missing. Or driving your bike during the day with the light on, and counting those people, and so on. Counting cars and trams have a similar effect. When you're preoccupied with something like that, it is much more difficult to obsess over other things.
Watching the Olympics. This has been very entertaining, and the ice skating, very soothing. Of course my husband is always chattering in the background about how they should do an "all skate" and how for every event there should be just a normal guy that is included seriously in the competition (think Napolean Dynamite). After watching Sasha Cohen win the short program a couple of nights ago, I said, "When we get to the U.S. this is the girl that will be on the box of corn flakes." My husband replied, "Yeah unless she loses, then she'll be on the box of shit flakes." Now call me nuts, but this made me laugh my dang face off for about 30 minutes, and let me tell you, laughter is GOOD, even if it is a little hystericalish.
Packing. We have been doing a lot of this lately, but it is oddly soothing. Going through each and every item in your house and deciding whether or not it is worthy of going further with you in life takes time and emotional energy. The really important stuff gets the UPS treatment. This would be things like paintings, camera equipments, etc. And then there are the really, really important things that will stay even closer by being in our luggage...important documents, quilts my mom made, vases with my childrens' hand and foot prints... The other soothing thing about packing has been the mountains of bubble wrap. Whenever you hit a weak spot or a confused point about what to pack next, you can just pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. Nice.
And here is my cute child story of the week...a couple of days ago, the five year old ran into the living room and said, "Mama Mama !!! We figured it out!!!" I said, "Figured what out??!!" She continued, "We figured out how to think about nothing! You just close your eyes and says mmmm..." Awesome! This is the same child who a couple of months back, when we asked HER to tell US a story, said, "Once upon a time, there was nothing. No people. No houses. No trees. No animals. No lights. No air. Nothing."
Have a lovely weekend. Love, Mama Jens
posted by mama jens at 12:43 PM
7 Comments:
Well, sounds like you're coping pretty well.
Match Point is a great movie! And of course, all the YUMMY people in it just totally made my jaw drop.
All the best for the move and get back to blogging again as soon as you can!
in case you still run out of bubble wrap: digital pop, pop, pop
Elemm, Thanks for the nice comments...and YES, beautiful, beautiful people in Match Point...
Rahel, That is frickin' awesome!
Oh wow, Mama Jens. You're almost there. I wish you all the best on your journey and we'll all be waiting for you to check in when you get to the "other side". I have a feeling the adults are going to have to do much more adjusting than the little ones will. Kids are so adaptable.
Now *I* going to go off and try to think about nothing...:-)
good luck on your move..i so enjoyed your story on german oma's..i had one of those! I have a special fondness for germany, i lived there till I was 5!
take care and safe travels!
Dear Jen ... So this is your final post before you cross the wide Atlantic and settle in the Tarheel state. Some part of me wishes I was taking a similar trip, back to the Carolina of my youth, fishing holes, hot summer nights, and later, as a young man, gin & tonics with strong-willed women whose ancestors fought to preserve their ultimately corrupt society.
Do keep in touch ... and bon voyage!
Hi Christina, Thanks for the reassurance concerning the adaptability of children. It is hard not to project all of OUR neurosis on them. Love, Mama, Papa, Hugs, and they will be fine...
Kim/Thomas, Thanks for your post and well wishes.
And Richard, Your posts and comments are always soothing and reassuring. Thanks so much for writing and you'll hear more from me when I get to the other side of the pond.
Post a Comment
<< Home