Going out, Falling in Love, and the Secret to a Happy Marriage
Here's a little summary of my night life in the recent years with relationship to childbearing:
Pre-children: party party party concert concert party wahoo!
Baby Number One: Temporary party pause. Baby sleeps in own bed, is weaned from breast, mama can party on, wahoo! She can't go out with her husband anymore because one always has to be at home looking after the nest, but she can party nevertheless. Come home from party, take two showers to get rid of awful smoky smell, and drink water with two aspirin in the morning. Everything good.
Baby number two: Indefinite party pause. Mama no party. Papa no party. Even if baby is weaned and in own bed, Mama too tired to go out. Smoky clubs no fun. Standing at concerts no fun. Small talk waste of very, very precious time. Need to do laundry anyways.
But this is no good really. We mamas need a break. We need to go out. We need time ALONE with our husbands (if we're ever gonna get more children...hee...hee...just kiddin'). But this is hard to do. You need time, babysitters, ambition. Because going out requires all this extra organization and build up, the event has to be really flippin' important to make a big nest escape worthwhile. We go out alone sometimes, but together, almost never. It has only happened once with a paid babysitter, and that was for a photoshoot=work.
BUT, tomorrow, our second official escape with a paid babysitter guarding our flock will take place. That will be to see Mark Kozelek (of Red House Painters fame) play at the Knaack Club. Boy am I excited. Since we have listened to his music since about 92 or something, we will feel like old farts hearing a retrospective, but that is okay. I don't mind. At least we'll be out. Together. Drinking beer. I'll let you know how it goes.
And speaking of wild youth and never going out with your husband, here is something interesting that came up in the news yesterday:
ROME (Reuters) - Your heartbeat accelerates, you have butterflies in the stomach, you feel euphoric and a bit silly. It's all part of falling passionately in love -- and scientists now tell us the feeling won't last more than a year.
The powerful emotions that bowl over new lovers are triggered by a molecule known as nerve growth factor (NGF), according to Pavia University researchers.
The Italian scientists found far higher levels of NGF in the blood of 58 people who had recently fallen madly in love than in that of a group of singles and people in long-term relationships.
But after a year with the same lover, the quantity of the 'love molecule' in their blood had fallen to the same level as that of the other groups.
The Italian researchers, publishing their study in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology, said it was not clear how falling in love triggers higher levels of NGF, but the molecule clearly has an important role in the "social chemistry" between people at the start of a relationship.
So, now we know why a lot of people can't seem to make it past that point in a relationship when the obsessive love craze part starts to die down and transform itself into something a little more...well, shall we say...settled?
And speaking of settled, we rented In Good Company the other night, with Dennis Quaid, Topher Grace, and Scarlett Johansonn. The best line of the film came from Quaid's character, when he was describing the secret of a happy marriage to the younger, Topher's character. "Pick the right person to be in the foxhole with you. Then, when you're out of the foxhole, keep your dick in your pants." That sounds about right.
Gotta go. There is a little baby fox sucking on my back.
Pre-children: party party party concert concert party wahoo!
Baby Number One: Temporary party pause. Baby sleeps in own bed, is weaned from breast, mama can party on, wahoo! She can't go out with her husband anymore because one always has to be at home looking after the nest, but she can party nevertheless. Come home from party, take two showers to get rid of awful smoky smell, and drink water with two aspirin in the morning. Everything good.
Baby number two: Indefinite party pause. Mama no party. Papa no party. Even if baby is weaned and in own bed, Mama too tired to go out. Smoky clubs no fun. Standing at concerts no fun. Small talk waste of very, very precious time. Need to do laundry anyways.
But this is no good really. We mamas need a break. We need to go out. We need time ALONE with our husbands (if we're ever gonna get more children...hee...hee...just kiddin'). But this is hard to do. You need time, babysitters, ambition. Because going out requires all this extra organization and build up, the event has to be really flippin' important to make a big nest escape worthwhile. We go out alone sometimes, but together, almost never. It has only happened once with a paid babysitter, and that was for a photoshoot=work.
BUT, tomorrow, our second official escape with a paid babysitter guarding our flock will take place. That will be to see Mark Kozelek (of Red House Painters fame) play at the Knaack Club. Boy am I excited. Since we have listened to his music since about 92 or something, we will feel like old farts hearing a retrospective, but that is okay. I don't mind. At least we'll be out. Together. Drinking beer. I'll let you know how it goes.
And speaking of wild youth and never going out with your husband, here is something interesting that came up in the news yesterday:
ROME (Reuters) - Your heartbeat accelerates, you have butterflies in the stomach, you feel euphoric and a bit silly. It's all part of falling passionately in love -- and scientists now tell us the feeling won't last more than a year.
The powerful emotions that bowl over new lovers are triggered by a molecule known as nerve growth factor (NGF), according to Pavia University researchers.
The Italian scientists found far higher levels of NGF in the blood of 58 people who had recently fallen madly in love than in that of a group of singles and people in long-term relationships.
But after a year with the same lover, the quantity of the 'love molecule' in their blood had fallen to the same level as that of the other groups.
The Italian researchers, publishing their study in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology, said it was not clear how falling in love triggers higher levels of NGF, but the molecule clearly has an important role in the "social chemistry" between people at the start of a relationship.
So, now we know why a lot of people can't seem to make it past that point in a relationship when the obsessive love craze part starts to die down and transform itself into something a little more...well, shall we say...settled?
And speaking of settled, we rented In Good Company the other night, with Dennis Quaid, Topher Grace, and Scarlett Johansonn. The best line of the film came from Quaid's character, when he was describing the secret of a happy marriage to the younger, Topher's character. "Pick the right person to be in the foxhole with you. Then, when you're out of the foxhole, keep your dick in your pants." That sounds about right.
Gotta go. There is a little baby fox sucking on my back.
posted by mama jens at 8:50 PM
3 Comments:
Hey there... I stumbled across your blog and just wanted to say I LOVE it!
Hi Andrew. Were you able to have a good dinner conversation too? That's another thing I miss. And, yeah, the dropped silverware (and food) thing is total craziness. Its like doing aerobics while eating. We basically decided about two weeks ago that we're gonna take about a two year break from going out to dinner as a family. Its just too nuts. Instead, we have people over, cook a big meal, and let all the little critters climb, crawl, scream, spill things, etc. Its much more relaxing that way.
You are so good at this Jen ...
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