First, Cut Finger...Then, Buy House

Good evening, ladies and gentlemens.

My first realization tonight is that I seriously should drink more. I am so busy all the time being a neurotic freako that I always forget to sit down and have a drink and just relax damn it. But after a little glass of bubbly, I realize that thinking clearly is actually possible. Instead of racing from point a to point b in my mind all the time like a wild damn turkey, I can actually coast there and savor the thought, ponder it, even change it. Amazing.

So here is what I did today: I bought a house. That's right. I bought a frickin' real bonafide two- storey, expensive-as-hell, adult, mature house with a yard and trees and driveway and mailbox and everything. Whoa. During the closing (lawyers, realtors, wooden oval table, signatures, clean clothes, paperwork), our sweet little sweetie kept busy trying to see what she could find inside my shirt. That was super fun. But it all worked. All three thousand million papers were signed, no one ran out screaming, and it was all cool. And now we are real, American homeowners. We like.

This is what else I did today: Cut my finger real bad. I actually went to the doctor at 8 am before the closing on the house to get stitches. There wasn't enough time, so I had to go back later, but I did get a nice band aid and some neosporin (sp?) for closing which was super friendly. Its all very psychological you see...nervous, brain elsewhere, thinking about how I will tie the color scheme in the childrens' room together, contemplating how I will breathe under this mountain of debt, making lunch for the five year old, cutting a big, german-style loaf of brick-like bread with a little ole steak knife, etc...the knife slips...and wham-o!... Big, deep cut right on the ole index. It took me a couple of minutes to register...blood, no pain really, blood, lots of moving and finger-using to do this weekend, more blood, deep, oh shit really deep... and there we were...all four of us...suddenly completely consumed by Mama Jens' cut finger. Closing on a house becomes less important (for just a second), getting the children dressed becomes totally optional, getting to school on time becomes a ridiculous requirement. It was all good. It helped. It broke tension. It distracted. I would certainly recommend it to any of you who might be buying a house any time soon.

So, America...it is still strange...but I think we are getting used to it. We had a little panic a couple of weeks ago. We almost totally freaked and moved to NYC. But then we came to, and realized that such a move within a move wouldn't be the smartest thing we have ever done...and well, we kinda like it here. It isn't the most amazing place in the entire universe, but it might be that we just need to meet some people. Still, we miss the urban, the contact with people, the movement, the opportunity....

Let's look at it this way...there is short term and long term....maybe we'll head up to the big city in a couple of years when our kids can walk without whining (or at least can whine a little less while walking) and we can afford something bigger than a closet (because I think we might need two closets) and we are so calm and balanced and refreshed and healthy that we are bored and need a good dose of craziness to set us straight.

Life is short! Move around!! Do things!!! Change your environment!! Quit your job! Take chances.

Ah....I feel better.

Time for another glass of champagne....

I hope you are having a lovely evening. Love and big kisses, Mama Jens.