Blogging over the years and remembrance of things in the not-so-distant past...

my blog kinda sucks.  i was just reading through some posts.  funny stuff.  kind of haha funny, kind of just plain old stupid funny.  since my memory is shit (no, i did not do drugs in college!), it is kind of nice to have a little record of what i was doing a couple of years ago, where i lived when i started this blog, how i spent my time, what my mood was like.  berlin. babies. breastfeeding. boobs. strollers.  diapers.  my dear girlfriends. baking.  germans.  it kinda looks like i did lots of cooking, and really got into it. i think i had a frickin' cooking blog. 

boy oh boy, things have changed....

well, sort of.  i still cook, but largely as a function of what i like to call, "the coop" in which Mama Jens lives in.

and speaking of things changing,  old friends (hi liz!) who used to remark that even my dirty dishes looked clean, would be pleased (or disappointed?!!) to learn that i have let the slack out a little.  instead of cleaning my dishes before i wash them, now i just don't fucking clean them.  no, no... i do.  but they do sometimes hang out in the sink for awhile collecting fruit flies and other things.  

mid-life crisis plus having to work your dang brains out to earn a living here equals forgetting to do things like eat, much less clean.  screw cleaning.  who needs it anyways?

but back to the coop bit...

when the school year ended last year and summer started, and we were like "holy shit, you mean we have to take care of these kids all day?!" we did something very brilliant.  we got a nanny.  

perks for nanny:  free room and board.   a weekly stipend.  no bills.  getting to sleep-in late on most days because one child doesn't need to be picked up from school until 11.  delicious hot meals every evening from mama jens (i'll get back to that cooking bit in a minute).  hi-def tv. presents and incentives because mama jens is so happy that you are here that she can't contain her excitement.  two friendly little girls to talk your ear off all day. new york city at your doorstep.

perks for us:  live-in childcare while we work during the day, not costing too much more than a room.  one on one entertainment for the insatiable little ladies.  once a week or so getting to go out and rock the house all night and not have to pay 8 million dollars for a babysitter.  all of your husbands' friends and everyone you work with and basically any random person you ever talk to asking if the nanny is hot, which provides us with hours and hours of conversational entertainment that we would never have had otherwise, friendly energy (she is from the south), and very good vibes.

so cooking.... i feel like i live in a coop.  and you know what i fucking love about it?  it brings out the hippy in me.  we have three adults.  two kids.  we all take turns with morning duty (getting the kids up and ready and to school), night babysitting duty (all three of us really like to go out and party all night like rock stars), and even cleaning up around the house and cooking.  it sounds like heaven, because it kinda is.

our nanny rocks.  she is awesome.  she likes us.  we like her.  she is amazing with the kids.  she is very low maintenance.  she is cool.  she understands how crazy we are and laughs with us. she drinks beer and watches project runway with me.

okay, i know you are all wondering if she is hot.  hehehe...

so back to the cooking.  mama jens is still doing all the shopping.  i whiz through a store with lightening speed and come out with the exact amount of food for a week's worth of meals, lunches, and breakfasts without forgetting anything!  its amazing!  and by the end of the week, holy empty fridge.  so i don't really know what i want to say about cooking.  oh, yes, we do it every night, but its after work and before bed and i'm not writing recipes or reinventing the wheel.  its basic, practical, meat and three vegetables, wham, bam, eat! feeding the coop.

so what am i trying to say?  i am at work and all these people keep interrupting me.  geesh!  

so yes, blog entries of past...cooking then vs. now...those dreamy times spent at home, in stay-at-home motherhood and high unemployment bliss in berlin with all my friends and kids' friends on afternoons after kita....cozy in the kitchen built by our friend or at a playground or cafe, coffee with steamed milk, fresh baked something, a plate of nice cheese, rosy-cheeked sweet toddlers running around in socks...ahhh...it seems faraway from the 9th floor of this building overlooking the hudson river, a photoshoot for a magazine happening in the next room, my kids at school, the nanny chillin' at home, the empty fridge on a friday, the traffic, all the windows with all the lights, no breastfeeding.  no boobs either.  how life has changed...

its amazing how we choose our paths.   some decisions are obviously more formative/transformative than others.  but i think about it all the time.  how little decisions affect the course of things, how much is conscientious and considered, how much is emotionally driven, how much is chance or even unnoticed....  

happy friday.

love, 

mama jens